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stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

0 posted 2006-07-14 01:18 AM

Why do you say,

“It’s just a dream, we will be fine, wait and see”

It’s not a dream, quit saying that it is
Come off your high, you just need to live

Live in the real world where hate and evil coexist
Not some broken down imaginings of all around happiness
Don’t hesitate to be free, kick the addiction of your endless daydreams

Yet, if you don’t, I’ll have you know, it’ll be too late, too late for you and me
For, I’m about to run, to be free, and as you know a druggie won’t be able to catch me…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just wrote this less than two min ago, so any ideas would be most appreciated, plus a better title, I would love a better title for this!

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[This message has been edited by stargal (07-15-2006 01:02 AM).]

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-07-14 11:16 AM

i like it. but i didnt completely understand it. if u could explain that would be really helpful

Kristabell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-29

Posts 678
Portland, OR

2 posted 2006-07-15 12:10 PM

How about, "It's Just a Dream." ? I think that might fit a bit better, and I have been in that situation before...

Kristabell

"Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life."

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-07-15 01:00 AM

That sounds like a great title!
Thank you so much, and both of you, thanks for posting a reply, it is much appreciated by me

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M e m o r i e s
Junior Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 14
Alaska, USA

4 posted 2006-07-15 08:25 PM

Well, I get a few ideas on what this is about.

I LOVE your rhyming skillage! (Yes, skillage, it's a good thing, trust me). I cannot rhyme to save myself, good to see someone can.

I like this poem a lot. It's really nice and true.

oh_my_goshijustgotexcited
Member

since 2006-07-12

Posts 52
USA, IDAHO

5 posted 2006-07-15 08:31 PM

very nice stargal, i enjoy your poems! and also your comments, you always have such great ideas for mine and others improvement! you rock!
thanks

Viola

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

6 posted 2006-07-17 01:29 PM

Hey rhia,

I noticed that I forgot to explain, so here I go, trying to explain the unexplainable…

Okay, if you may have noticed this poem COULD be talking about loving a druggie and getting tired of his highs and running away, or this could mean any number of things. Your choice really, to me, actually, it wasn’t about a druggie. Well, it was, but the druggie was a dreamer, not a meth or something user, just someone who believe everything was great. Didn’t live in the “real world”, but as I said it’s really the readers choice. For me I could see any number of possibilities of what this could be…

Anyway, if you have anymore questions let me know, I know I didn’t explain that very well…sorry…

Thanks for all the replies everyone, much appreciated.

Viola- I’m very grateful that you like my comments, it is nice to know I’m appreciated in some way

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Digital_Hell
Member

since 2006-06-05

Posts 202
Amidst black roses

7 posted 2006-07-20 06:16 PM

Once again stargal im left almost speechless. I can relate to this poem very well.

"Live in the real world where hate and evil coexist
Not some broken down imaginings of all around happiness
Don’t hesitate to be free, kick the addiction of your endless daydreams"

I loved this part to bits, its beautiful and so truthfull.

As for a title how about simply "Dreamers"?
And spontaneity is the best. All save two of my posted poems were written on the spur of the moment... Keep up the great work!

hells gate reads Abandon hope all ye that enter here
shall we go?
the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Will you walk with me?

bekahlekah45
Senior Member

since 2006-03-14

Posts 533

8 posted 2006-07-20 08:51 PM

lol i read this and was like wow...this could be a rap.  so i went back and tried to rap it all in my mind but it didnt quite work out to well...hahaha
this is good.  not one of my favorites by you but its not the worst either.  It was a so-so one. I mean well i liked it.  alot actually.  the last 2 lines were my favorites.  i loved those ones.
i'm not sure what else to say...but yeah.  good : )

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