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Teen Poetry #7

Math Class Bordom

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-07-16 09:00 PM

I wrote this in math.

hark as your voice rings out
And echoes in the distance
only to fall like ashes
Turning in the instant

A touch of the cheek is a compulsory goodbye
The moment goes so quick
Like its predesigned inside
Desperation drives deep
But how deep is too deep to breath staved air

Thinking in the ambience of what your memorie created
Drowning and lashing it keeps coming on
Dreaming silent dreams
As the light is drawn by dawn

This is the only life you have, so live it to be remembered

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-07-17 01:01 PM

Humm... So, this isn't one of my favorites but I did find it to be an interesting read. Although, I would advise that you do not write during math class...lolz. I just know that when you get caught it can involve some bad consequences.

"A touch of the cheek is a compulsory goodbye
The moment goes so quick
Like it’s redesigned inside
Desperation drives deep
But how deep is too deep to breath staved air"

My favorite part, I like how you used "redesigned" in this, it was a nice twist in some ways.

The only thing I found I didn't really care for was the first stanza, it's kind of unexplainable, and maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it, I just don't like it as well as the other stanzas in this. It lacks the ... beauty, imagery? That the other stanzas have, no offence, and it's probably just a matter of opinion on my part.

Thanks for sharing

@-->---

oh_my_goshijustgotexcited
Member

since 2006-07-12

Posts 52
USA, IDAHO

2 posted 2006-07-19 04:02 AM

all i can say is...YAY im not the only one that writes in math class! ugh i hate math, and what better way to make the time pass than write poetry eh? i thought it was a good poem
-later

Viola

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

3 posted 2006-07-20 09:26 PM

Thank you for the agreement on the whole math class thing...math sucks! But any ways thanks for the comments.
~Tempest~

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