Teen Poetry #7 |
Math Class Bordom |
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
I wrote this in math. hark as your voice rings out And echoes in the distance only to fall like ashes Turning in the instant A touch of the cheek is a compulsory goodbye The moment goes so quick Like its predesigned inside Desperation drives deep But how deep is too deep to breath staved air Thinking in the ambience of what your memorie created Drowning and lashing it keeps coming on Dreaming silent dreams As the light is drawn by dawn This is the only life you have, so live it to be remembered |
||
© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Humm... So, this isn't one of my favorites but I did find it to be an interesting read. Although, I would advise that you do not write during math class...lolz. I just know that when you get caught it can involve some bad consequences. "A touch of the cheek is a compulsory goodbye The moment goes so quick Like it’s redesigned inside Desperation drives deep But how deep is too deep to breath staved air" My favorite part, I like how you used "redesigned" in this, it was a nice twist in some ways. The only thing I found I didn't really care for was the first stanza, it's kind of unexplainable, and maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it, I just don't like it as well as the other stanzas in this. It lacks the ... beauty, imagery? That the other stanzas have, no offence, and it's probably just a matter of opinion on my part. Thanks for sharing @-->--- |
||
oh_my_goshijustgotexcited Member
since 2006-07-12
Posts 52USA, IDAHO |
all i can say is...YAY im not the only one that writes in math class! ugh i hate math, and what better way to make the time pass than write poetry eh? i thought it was a good poem -later Viola |
||
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
Thank you for the agreement on the whole math class thing...math sucks! But any ways thanks for the comments. ~Tempest~ |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |