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Teen Poetry #7
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Your Fondest Wish
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Your Fondest Wish |
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WaterFairy103 Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196 |
If you had your fondest wish, would you have a million dollars? If you had your fondest wish, would you be handsome beyond measure? If you had your fondest wish, would you be a rocket scientist? If you had your fondest wish, would you be a famous actor? If you had your fondest wish, would you live in a huge mansion? If you had your fondest wish, would you date hundreds of beautiful women? If you had your fondest wish, would you be in a rock'n'roll band? If you had your fondest wish, would you have your own TV show? What I'm really asking, love, is if you had your fondest wish, would your fondest wish include me? Dance like nobody's watching, |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kelsey Dianne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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girlskater117 Junior Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 32 |
Nice poem.I hope to hear more Amber |
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
good write. I liked the way you lead up to the ending, it was very good execution overall. hope to see more " Everytime he held you close, yea were you thinking of me..." Stab My Back-All American Rejects |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Well, I liked it, and how you lead up to the ending was great. I just felt like it was a little repetitive maybe you could cut down on that a little bit? The general idea of this poem is awesome though! I would change that at all… I just think that I would do the “if you had your fondest wish”, as much, but that’s just me… Great poem, I really did enjoy it  @-->--- |
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