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Teen Poetry #7
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by my window
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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by my window |
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littlemiss Junior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 16 |
i sit here by my window staring to the sky sun starting to set and i ask myself why why can't i take off take off like a bird leave this angstbehind me i know it sounds absurd i sit here by my window watching clouds breeze through i wish so hard i could join them rather than feeling like an animal in a zoo |
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| © Copyright 2006 littlemiss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
"i sit here by my window watching clouds breeze through i wish so hard i could join them rather than feeling like an animal in a zoo" excellent ending! i liked the overall concept of your piece. It was short and simply right to the point of your feelings. Good job, look forward to seeing more " Everytime he held you close, yea were you thinking of me..." Stab My Back-All American Rejects |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey littlemiss, I agree with Kaos, I like the overall idea of the poem, the way you expressed yourself was perfect, no flowery lines, nothing that didn’t belong… Very nice job on this! I’d have to say the ending stanza was my favorite though, it was a strong ending to your poem and it seemed to wrap everything up just right. Great job on this poem, I can’t wait to see more from you in the near future  @-->--- |
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