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Teen Poetry #7
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Fire Away
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Fire Away |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! 
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Lost int he heat of a battle never won Im torn into peices And I'm starting to come undone Even through all the carnage I know I will become worn and tarnished But I will just keep fighting on Cut, broken, and bleeding But im still breathing Too bad that Ill keep fighting Untill Im dying You gave up on me So please just fire away Until I go down In the heat of the blaze |
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| © Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Okay, so I didn’t like this one as well as the last one of yours I just read, but I still liked it. It was an interesting sort of imagery, I wouldn’t have thought of using a battle for this kind of poem, but I think it fits well. Though, I’d like to just mention that you have a couple spelling errors on the first line in the first stanza… I really liked the middle stanza, for me I can relate that to a lot of stuff that’s going on in my life right now, it’s one of my favorite parts in the whole poem… Anyway, thanks for sharing once again  @-->--- |
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