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Teen Poetry #7

What My Life Became

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-06-11 10:17 PM

Daylight breaks the silence
As all hope fades to gray
You said you would be here
When I started to fall away
But you just watched me
As i called out your name
Walking through the shadows
It slowly starts to rain
I'm walking through the ashes
Of what my life became

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-06-12 01:54 AM

Hey tempest!

This is such an amazing piece for me, it describes how I feel about a few people in my life right now. I think you captured the description and imagery just right in this one. I loved it.

It was a short but very powerful piece, there’s nothing I would change in it… I like it that much!

@-->---

Frank W. Torres
Member

since 2006-06-10

Posts 133

2 posted 2006-06-12 09:33 AM

Extreme!

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