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Teen Poetry #7

six in june long ago,

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

0 posted 2006-06-04 03:19 AM

its sunny outside,
and happiness cant hide.
there's no tears, or fear,
as long as the sky is clear.
sitting under the big oak tree,
i am filled with glee.
sweet watermelon on a warm afternoon,
smiling all through the month of june.

hopes for the best,
planning for what we'll do next.
we all wonder where we'll be,
if we'll be tied down or if we'll be free.

ice cold lemonade,
ends this wonderful day.
we will all look back to this,
we'll cry and we'll wish,
that we could go back there,
be six again, and not have to care.

~L

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

1 posted 2006-06-04 11:01 AM

=)
~missy

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

2 posted 2006-06-04 02:07 PM

ha ha...

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

3 posted 2006-06-04 05:25 PM

yep, defiantly..lol ;-)

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

4 posted 2006-06-04 05:56 PM

its sorta weird, but oh well...i like it, ha ha!

Junebug
Junior Member

since 2006-04-23

Posts 40
earth

5 posted 2006-06-05 12:43 PM

wow i <3 this one! i so relate! i feel like that everyday!!!

bekahlekah45
Senior Member

since 2006-03-14

Posts 533

6 posted 2006-06-05 02:59 PM

yeah...way back when drama didnt exist in our worlds...
nice job

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

7 posted 2006-06-05 03:07 PM

I liked it. A question though, was it supposed to be read slow or fast? In most parts I was reading it quickly. In the begining and end of each thing I slowed down a little bit. Is this how it's supposed to be read or is it something different? I like they way it's organized. I can't really decide if it would be better if you kept the stanzas the way the are or if you evened them out a bit. Maybe you should keep them the same, it flows. Yeah thats about it. Nice write.

Jessica
(Please forgive me if this is useless)

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