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Teen Poetry #7

Fortress Of Feeling

Arcee_Collins
New Member

since 2006-06-01

Posts 1

0 posted 2006-06-01 10:09 AM

Basically this is a poem that i have written, i made it up as i went along, though it is based on true events. Like most of my poetry. Please feel free to comment back.
Fortress of feeling

It lies never moving in the street,
It can feel the weight of a thousand feet,
Skeptic feelings comsumed me,
I am doing this just for Mum?

I trudge in, and am greeted with sympathetic smiles
Are you alright dear? Do you want a drink?
No, thanks i'm fine - still nervous of why i'm here
A weird feeling posseses me, silent fear.

Its my turn to open, its my turn to talk
Its my turn to get up and walk,
Its ghastly at first, a bitter taste in a sweet mouth,
Then i see why, i can do, it i can open,
i can speak without fear and ridicule
This new found glory, a symbolic jule.

My feelings come out, what i want to say
Things never once uttered aloud, silent pray.
Finally at peace, things of my chest.

For this is the day i fell in love with counsilling.

Richard Thomas Collins - 2006

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

1 posted 2006-06-01 01:22 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!

Please check your e-mail for a special greeting.

"... the rest is silence"
from the song The Flesh Failures
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-06-01 07:54 PM

Hey Arcee_Collins,

Nice first post!

I just wanted to say welcome to pip and I hope we'll be seeing more poetry from you

@-->---

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

3 posted 2006-06-13 09:41 PM

Nice first post. I liked your piece it had a good portrayal of emotion in it and i like how the ending showed what set you free from your feelings. I thought that there were one or two spots where the meter kinda struggled but nothing big... welcome to PiP! lookin forward to more

" Everytime he held you close, yea were you thinking of me..." Stab My Back-All American Rejects

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