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buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

0 posted 2006-05-30 05:01 PM

I can't figure out
why i pushed you away
I thought it was your fault
but Im the one to blame.

I don't know how it happens
or know how I feel
I don't know what to do anymore
and i don't even feel real

I wish you were still here
to hold me in your arms
for me to be able to talk to you
without hurting anyone

now im alone
and all i do is cry
waiting for you to come back to me
so i can live again.

Please give me a second chance
to show you I never forgot
that one moment we shared
when you told me you cared

it's all going down
it's all fading away
I don't know who to turn to
to show that i feel this way

I don't know how to tell you
I don't know the words to use
so i guess i'll be brief
tell you the only way

"yes, i still love you"

{thanks for the suggestion on stanza five, scyzoryk_o4}

[This message has been edited by buttercupbaby (06-01-2006 11:57 AM).]

forever*wishing
Member

since 2006-05-29

Posts 178
where my heart is

1 posted 2006-05-30 05:20 PM

awwww....it flows perfectly...i love it.

~L

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

2 posted 2006-05-30 05:27 PM

thanks...it doesn't flow perfectly..but its ok i guess...thanks anyway!!
~missy

scyzoryk_o4
Junior Member

since 2006-05-23

Posts 36
Canada and Poland

3 posted 2006-05-31 10:36 PM

Hey, awesome poem. Every one in there life has went through this sort of thing with either just a friend or a girl/boy friend so a lot of ppl can relate. I like the last stanza; it really wraps up the poem nicely.
If there’s one stanza I would change, it would be 5th, it's just a little weak

Maybe try something like:
"Please give me a second chance
to show you I never forgot
that one moment we shared
when you told me you cared"

Hope u don’t get offended by this suggestion, just when I read that stanza, this is what came to mind.

Maksym

buttercupbaby
Member

since 2006-05-03

Posts 400
outside in the rain

4 posted 2006-06-01 11:55 AM

thanks for the suggestion!!i like it better that way too, it defiantly doesn't offend me. It helps the flow way better..thanks alot
~missy

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