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Teen Poetry #7
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losing you
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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losing you |
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forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is 
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As much as I wish I could deny it, I know that I can’t. I see you drifting away, You’re falling from my hands. For so long I had you in them tightly, For so long I had you right beside me. I have wished with all my life behind it, That we could go back to the first moment. To see how far together we’ve come, To see where our lives have gone. But, we’re losing it all, And we’re losing control. I don’t know where to go, I can't see the road. From the times when we were afraid of a noise, but with each other we were alright, To when we wandered in the dark with nothing but each other as our light, We’d always thought we’d end together, Never once thinking we’d be apart till the end of forever. but i cant help but see the miles between us, and i cant look away from the ditch i cant cross, to get to your world, just to get to you, to turn this back to what we always knew. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Becca - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I LOVED this.. it was great.. the first 2 or 3 lines were awesome.. not kidding they like drug me into the poem.. this line... "To when we wandered in the dark with nothing but each other as our light," ...for some reason just kinda caught my attention.. I loved it.. it was like one of those famous quotes or proverbs or something.. great job.. Keep up the good work.. I really enjoy reading your poems.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
really? thanx...i actually wrote this a while back...like 2 months ago...i cant remember... well, thank u... ~L |
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scyzoryk_o4 Junior Member
since 2006-05-23
Posts 36Canada and Poland |
Hey, again I too like this poem. I can relate to it though probably a little differently than most --> What I mean by this is that when u say "but i cant help but see the miles between us," I’m guessing u mean this metaphorically, while its literally “milles” in my case. Any way nice write Maksym |
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forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
actually i meant it both ways...i guess...they are miles away AND they're far away like...i dunno, in our relationship...and thank you. ~L |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey forever*wishing, Great poem! You have such talent, I'm just honored I am able to read your poems. I'm not sure if I can even critique them, cause I wouldn't really know what I was saying. I loved this part so much, I can really relate to it, "But, we’re losing it all, And we’re losing control. I don’t know where to go, I can't see the road." very good imagery on this, it's awesome! Anyway, thanks for sharing this poem with us, i'm sorry i don't really have any helpful comments to add to this post... Keep up the good writes though, I can't wait to see more from you  @-->--- |
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buttercupbaby Member
since 2006-05-03
Posts 400outside in the rain |
wow...that's beautiful...really beautiful..my favorite part has to be: For so long I had you in them tightly, For so long I had you right beside me. I have wished with all my life behind it, That we could go back to the first moment. thats good..I love ALL your poems!! |
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TheCoolestKidYouKnow Junior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 11 |
Wow good job...you deffinately got some skills!! its soo beautiful though!! seriously..good job!!!!! |
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