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Teen Poetry #7
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Hazy
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Hazy |
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Belinda Member
since 2006-01-30
Posts 126UK 
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For A Good Friends ... Your day was rough, rough as hell. But I was here, for you to tell. I'll be there for you, all the way. Through the sunshine, through the rain. When storms are here, I'll be your shelter. I'll Guide you through, and always help ya. I'm like you, I have those days. When everything, becomes a haze. I'll make you smile, when you are down. When you need a laugh, I'll be your clown. Forever we will be, best of friends. Forever, together, until the end. To finish it off, I just want to say. Never forget, tomorrow is a new day! Love you now and forever x x |
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| © Copyright 2006 Belinda Black - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked this.. it was very simple but sooo heartfelt.. good job.. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Belinda, Very nice poem, like heather said (I repeat heather a lot), very heartfelt! I enjoyed the imagery in this, and the “haze”, that is a different, but interesting way, to express those days. Very cool. The only thing I really dislike, well, not dislike, but I am a little wary of putting into my poetry would be shortenings of words. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense, I only saw it once in your poem though, so it’s no big deal, but I think poems show a little more class without “chatroom typing”. It was just the “and always help ya”, that caught my eye, I use that kind of typing all the time, but I prefer not seeing it in poetry, no offence. I really liked your stanzas, how you had two lines in each, very nice ways to set it up. I particularly liked the 3rd stanza, very nice. Anyway, good write on this one, I hope to see more from you!  @-->--- |
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