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Sweetie01
Junior Member

since 2006-05-15

Posts 28
NJ, USA

0 posted 2006-05-19 06:41 PM

Do you really like me, do you really care?
Are you always gonna be there
for me when I need you the most?
Or are you gonna flee
like a bug does from its host?

All I want is the truth,
do you love me or am I just one lucky host?
If you love me, forever I will be true
If I'm just a host, forever I will be blue

I cant make you stay with me
I cant make you leave
So, make up your mind soon, pretty, pretty please?

I'm crazy about you
I thought you were about me
but now that she's here
she's all you see
now all you do is critize
you compare me to her and her to me

I'm sick and tired of all this crap
I need you to be true to me
or not come back
before I make a mistake, I really dont want to make

So, Do you really like me, do you really care?
Are you gonna be there when I get scared?
I don't know if you will be
and I need to trust you

Trusting you is the hardest part
because, I don't know if you will just get up and dart?
Will you just leave or will you come back to beg and plead?
Will you beg for my forgiveness or will it be the other way around?

Do you really like me,do you really care?
Are you always gonna be there
for me when I need you most?
or will you just flee
like a bug does from its host?
<33 Amanda

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-05-19 10:04 PM

I like it but it seems like it could've had a little more organization.. to me poems seem easier to read and understand when their organized. I like the main idea in this poem and then end was perfect because at first in like the first and second stanzas I thought you repeated yourself too much with the bug and host thing.. but the end kinda pulled that together..

It could use a little bit.. but it's very good.

I think that you are a talented writer when you put your mind to it.. from what I've read.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

2 posted 2006-05-20 12:16 PM

i like it but it could have flowed better.

i agree with Heather you are a talented writer and i hope to read more from you.

*leah

Sweetie01
Junior Member

since 2006-05-15

Posts 28
NJ, USA

3 posted 2006-05-20 10:02 PM

This wasn't a great poem. I wrote it in a hurry & yea, it could've flowed better.
Thanks for the replys heather & leah
Amanda<33

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