Teen Poetry #7 |
Drowning In The Sea Of Doubt |
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
Amongst the mists of calamity One lone voice sings out to me I see a beacon in the tempest burning through Can you feel it burning you Because its buning me to the point of realization That I may never taste the april rain If I just let my life slip away Now im lost without a hope And with no way to cope The insomnia sets in to bleed me dry And it hurts to think That your whole lifes a lie My masquerade is fading Becouse im falling apart Im only half way through And losing heart And theres no way out, no way down Im lost in the sea and likly to drown So throw me a line to help me out Because im drowning in the sea of doubt |
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© Copyright 2006 Bryan Girton - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaos Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 317between space and time |
This was a well written piece. the tempo and rhythm was kept steady the whole way through and the imagery and word choice was well done "My masquerade is fading Becouse im falling apart Im only half way through And losing heart" loved that part... good job man, keep em comin Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
Can you feel it burning you Because its buning me to the point of realization That I may never taste the april rain If I just let my life slip away Woah, i could imagine that wow, this poem was awesome definatly(if i can spell that) going in my library. keep it up ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
wow.. I loved this.. so going in my library.. great choice of words.. very talented. ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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