what i wouldn't give. - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #7

what i wouldn't give.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2006-05-13 12:10 PM

take this beauty
and create within me something
worth more then my feelings
which swirl around
my empty stomach
swollen with the hurt
heartache like a maze throughout
this haze of summer approaching
and i'm so sick of these
never-ending games
mind games and you're twisting
my heart into something
and i will never forgive this
forgive you for what you've been
slowly putting me through
falling in and out
of love with you

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

1 posted 2006-05-13 07:57 PM

"my empty stomach
swollen with the hurt
heartache like a maze throughout
this haze of summer approaching
and i'm so sick of these
never-ending games"

awesome description of feelings! loved it... it had a unique flow to the reading as well, excellent job

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-partially from " Slave of Love" by: Me.

Fabiani
Member

since 2006-05-12

Posts 123
Mesa, Az

2 posted 2006-05-13 07:59 PM

i loved this poem brings back memories

pullingxthextrigger
Member

since 2006-05-01

Posts 133
MA,..USA llx

3 posted 2006-05-13 08:19 PM

i liked the beginning and end very much
woah, what a talented poet!
awesome job and keep it up

~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

4 posted 2006-05-13 10:25 PM

i really like this it's a really good poem. keep it up.

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