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Teen Poetry #7
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Perfect Girl
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Perfect Girl |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
Sometimes she wants to die Other times all she does is sigh She has everything she could ever want Perfect life; like that perfect font Everyone loves her; she's so cool and she gets great grades in school Her dad is a doctor and her mom a teacher But something is tearing her Can someones life be like a yard that needs no rake is it true or is this a mistake? Her friends are way to much they're nice,pretty,smart and such Then why does she get this empty feeling? Like her hollow heart is peeling? She wants answers fast She has to get them or this feeling'll last Well, I'll help you if you tell me who would your "perfect" man be? You have no love in your life So you better start moving with a huge strife Hurry before all the good ones leave Hurry so you can start to believe ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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| © Copyright 2006 Nora - All Rights Reserved | |||
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
that was fantastic i loved it very unique and in a strange way, fullfilling..lol much enjoyed..me! i'm looking for you...always... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Nora, I dunno on this one, it seems to vary so much, it's almost like i can't figure out who/what the main subject is, unless the main subject is perfection... Cause at first you're talking about this girl who on the outside appears to have everything "perfect", but on the inside isn't, but than you switch to trying to find the "perfect" guy, like the girl is no longer in the poem. That's what i thought at least, i could be wrong on this. I felt like the 3rd and 5th stanza didn't really make a whole lot of sense, and the flow was off. I did like the first and 2nd stanza a lot though! Very coo imagery in this, and like curiouse said unique. This is deff something more different than anything else i've read by you so far, strangely interesting though  Keep up the good writes, sorry i couldn't be of much help to you in my comments! @-->--- |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
Okay, well the girl is perfect but she feels very empty inside and she wants to know why and its because she has no love. truthfully, i didnt rly like this poem but i liked the general idea. Thank you curiouse for replying- glad u liked it And of course stargal for replying and the advice hope i made sense! ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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Junebug Junior Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 40earth |
Hey i really like this poem...i cant exactly relate, but i know people who can...and i totally loved this part "Can someones life be like a yard that needs no rake is it true or is this a mistake?" it sounds something like i'd write! but its totally awesome! and your totally a great poet! <3~Me (aka donna) |
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Archea Member
since 2006-05-13
Posts 65United States |
i thought it was only so-so up until the end. that last line brought it all together and made it good. it's like a so-so movie with a great ending... and everybody gives it two thumbs up. exellent. |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
thx so much for replying junebug!! ur sweet! thx archea for replying too!! ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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