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Teen Poetry #7

Lovleyness On Your Lips

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

0 posted 2006-05-06 01:10 AM

i think its your eyes that got me
You say thier plain
But I don't think so
I love your face
Even though you don't
I want your hand to be in mine
I'm falling for you and don't care why

Lovleyness
Is on your lips
As you kiss me
And I'll pull you close
Just to hold you gently

I want you here
Through comfort and fear
So dry your eyes
And smile

Lovleyness
Is on your lips
As you kiss me
And I'll pull you close
Just to hold you gently

sins_and_tragedies
Junior Member

since 2006-04-26

Posts 41
england

1 posted 2006-05-06 10:04 AM

I want you here
Through comfort and fear
So dry your eyes
And smile
that was one of your most definatly best poem that line up the top well whee the post stars is my favourite stanza!

kepp it up
sat
xx

is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

2 posted 2006-05-06 10:36 AM

thanks I wrote this one for my girlfriend.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-05-06 02:36 PM

Hey Tempest,

I really enjoyed this one by you; it’s so very sweet…

The only thing is that there are a few spelling errors, like the word “lovleyness” and “thier”, but I think that’s all.

I loved the, well, I might call it a chorus, part,
”lovliness is on your lips
as you kiss me
and I’ll you close
just to hold you gently”

very beautiful lines, I don’t usually like repeating of stanzas, but in this one, it’s perfect.

Keep up the good writes, I hope to see more from you!

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