Teen Poetry #7 |
Eternal Pain |
pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
Eternal Pain How long must I endure this pain I feel, This deep rooted pain that seems so unreal. This pain runs through my veins each night, Sleepless thinking everythings alright. When I awake to each new day, Something tells me its all ok. Then this feeling of pain sets in, thinking of you again and again. Heartache, Heartpain its all the same, This pain from you cannot be explained. It runs so deep I can hardly bear, The plain as day truth, you'll never be there. Day by day this feeling fades, The pain from you will soon fade away. As time goes by a new love I'll gain, Still feeling for you Eternal Pain. ~nora <3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3 llx - P!ATD! |
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© Copyright 2006 Nora - All Rights Reserved | |||
tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
i like the poem but in these stanzas "Heartache, Heartpain its all the same, This pain from you cannot be explained. Day by day this feeling fades, The pain from you will soon fade away." i dont think you should have repeted like pain, and fade... thats just me SENIOR 06' |
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sins_and_tragedies Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41england |
hey ptt i noticed the signiture do you by any chance like panic! at the disco? especially time to dance? i think they are pure wicke i thought i would ask oh i read you poem and thought wow! uit was very intervining - n(not sure if thats the right word though) well anyways i like the poem... sins and tragedies x (oh thats where i got my name from p!atd!) is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
do i like panic at the disco (p!atd!) OF COURSE I DO!!! i luv them to death-they'r great im guessing you like them to? from i write sins not tredagies(or however thats spelled) they'r amazingg period. anyways, thanks to both of u for replying ~nora<3 your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3 llx - P!ATD! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey Nora, I actually didn’t think this is one of your better poems, I mean, it didn’t draw me into it like most of yours usually do, no offence. All it really talks about is pain, it needs more story in it, or at least that’s what I think… I do like these lines though, ”Heartache, Heartpain its all the same, This pain from you cannot be explained” very nice stanza, nice rhythm @-->--- |
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