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Like the Petals on a Flower
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Like the Petals on a Flower |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent 
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You can't relplace a fallen petal on a flower, just like you can't erase a scar. Bruises always go away, but my hurting heart is here to stay. For everytime you weren't there when a parent should be, and for everytime a lie fell from your hateful lips, there are lifelong scars that get more visible, everytime you hurt me. SENIOR 06' |
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| © Copyright 2006 Laura Risner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
” you can’t replace a fallen petal on a flower, Just like you can’t erase a scar.” Wow, that is such beautiful imagery to me, I love that part best out of the whole poem, I think… The second stanza I’m not that crazy about, no offence, to me it’s just not as good as the first. The last stanza… very different, whereas I was expecting you to have something about a lost love, I was not expecting it to be a parent. Very nice touch, added a little bit of surprise, took this from being an “ordinary”, well not ordinary, but kind of usual? How do I say this without hurting feelings… it made this poem unique, slightly different from all others, had a great variation  The only thing I might have changed though, is I might have combined the first and second stanza together, make it appear longer, make it kind of match the last stanza… Good job on this one though I really enjoyed it @-->--- |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
yeah ur right i prob should have combined the two... no hurt feelings here! SENIOR 06' |
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