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Teen Poetry #7
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sins_and_tragedies
Junior Member
since 2006-04-26
Posts 41
england

0 posted 2006-05-03 06:37 AM



If you're feeling lonely, like everyone has turned their backs on you,
Don't worry, take my hand and I promise I'll pull you through,
And if suddenly you find you're falling, dropping from that ledge,
I'll catch you on my strong wings, I'll save you I pledge,
And if someday you find,
That you just need someone to be kind,
You know where I'll be,
You can just come to me,
So come now dry your tears,
I'll fight back all your fears,
And you won't be scared of the dark tonight,
As I will be your shining light,
Never again will you feel lonely,
Because you've still got me.

is good to face this things with a sense of poise and rationality

© Copyright 2006 Danielle - All Rights Reserved
pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
1 posted 2006-05-03 06:53 PM


loved it!!!  i would say this is one of my fave poems from you.  excellant job
keep it up
~nora <3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3  llx - P!ATD!

cherrys_rule
Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442

2 posted 2006-05-10 09:54 PM


hey i really like this poem. i can relate to it with one of my friends. well let me put that in a different way... All my friends. Good write. Keep up the good write.
itzy
New Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 4
USA
3 posted 2006-05-29 03:54 AM


i can seriously see this poem reflecting one of my friendships.
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
4 posted 2006-05-29 12:23 PM


Hey sins_and_tragedies,

Nice poem, don’t know why I haven’t seen this before…

I really like the whole thing actually; the only advice/criticism I would have to offer is on the flow. The flow is a little bit stiff in one or two spots, but nothing major.

I do believe that my favorite part in this poem would have to be,

”and someday you find,
That you just need someone to be kind,
You know where I’ll be,
You can just come to me


very touching and in this the emotions run true…. I enjoyed reading this, and I apologize for having not seen it sooner. Thanks for sharing

@-->---

scyzoryk_o4
Junior Member
since 2006-05-23
Posts 36
Canada and Poland
5 posted 2006-05-29 10:58 PM


Hey, I like this poem, its great. I don’t personally relate but if I had a friend in need, that would admit it, for sure I would be there for them. nice write
Oh and i almost forgot, maybe if you separated the first two lines and made every other line rhyme it would better the flow.( Though I’m sure u thought of that and decided u wanted to keep the 1,1,1,1,1 rhyming scheme. So never mind.)
{Stargal I swear I’m not purposely replying to every post you are, I’m just picking randomly from the top   cya}

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