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Teen Poetry #7
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the World wins all the time
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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the World wins all the time |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
Life is given, death is taken Light to dark, bad to good World unseen throw all else be Who am I, who do you want Make up your mind this is good bye I’m losing the fight to the worlds that’s wining I’m talking to the shadows it self For no one knows I’m here at all Life unseen throw all else be -I don’t really know what I’m trying to say in the first two parts but I hope maybe you can tell me what you think There is so much good in the worst of us, and so much bad in the best of us, that it behooves all of us not to talk about the rest of us. *Robert L |
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| © Copyright 2006 Leah S. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey aliway, This is kind of what I thought you meant in the first stanzas, so correct me if I’m wrong… Like the first part “life is given, death is taken”, I kind of felt like you were saying that life is a gift to us, for us, and that death is unexpected, it can take you at anytime. Okay, so maybe I read more into this than there really was, but it’s a nice idea, no? As for the last part of the stanza, I have no idea! It must have some deeper meaning that I’m missing… I’m not sure if you were trying for a rhythm thing but if you were well, it wasn’t the best. My favorite stanza has to be the last one, I’m not really sure why either, it just jumped off the page at me! Anyway, I’m sorry nobody has posted on this sooner, cause it is one I think everyone should consider. @-->--- |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
this is a great poem and i loved the whole idea of it. well done, curiouse i'm looking for you...always... |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
You like it  I thought only the last part of it was good and the rest was bad. Stargal, that’s my favorite part too. Actually I came up with this poem jus so I could use it, but I wish I came up with a better one then this. Thank you *leah |
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