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Teen Poetry #7
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Peach
Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 33


0 posted 2006-04-19 02:42 PM



A cat can die eight deaths
and still get through another
people can have a fight
but still love eachother

You can live through a plane crash
and still take the next flight
You can eat enough for two
and still want the chocolate that's in sight

A parent can be near death
and still get up to help their kid
somebody can come in last place
and still be proud of how they did

So why can't we get through
that one bad day we had
maybe it'd be better
and I wouldn't be so sad

I wonder why everything else can be fixed
and be how it's suppose to be
it's because nothing could ever hurt as bad
as when you put an end to you and me

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

© Copyright 2006 Megan Andrews - All Rights Reserved
the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
1 posted 2006-04-19 10:11 PM


I liked this poem a lot.. actually.. i think this is the first of yours that I've read.. it might be your first post maybe not.. but anyways.

This was a great poem.. I loved how you compared all the things in the beginning and then had the ending come in and be like a question (why can't it be like that)..
the only thing that I read a little difficult was the rythm of the last stanza.. the fist time i read it.. it was off beat but after i went back and read it slower it sounded ok.. maybe it's just be.. but either way. GREAT JOB!

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
2 posted 2006-05-05 07:08 PM


woah!!!  this poem was very very very good!!!  i loved it so much!!!  awesome job!  keep it up

~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong </3  llx - P!ATD!

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
3 posted 2006-05-06 12:39 PM


Hey peach,

Very nice poem! I also liked how you compared all this stuff in the first stanzas before you put in the, “so why”, I must admit at first I’m like, “how in the world does this fit the title”, it was pretty coo that you could tie it all together so perfectly.

The only thing that I found a little bit unsettling would be the rhythm, it was pretty good in most of the poem, but there are a few spots that it is a little stiff. I think it might help if you read the poem aloud to yourself and than fix what you think needs fixed…

Good job on this, I can’t wait to see more of your posts

@-->---

poise_and_rationality
Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46
my mind
4 posted 2006-05-07 10:51 AM


yea i agree with stragal this poem is probaly one of your best
keep up the good work
par x


poise_and_rationality
Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46
my mind
5 posted 2006-05-07 11:25 AM


yea well done  on this post it was realy good i enjoyed reading it ......
keep it up
par

house of composure where is your posture?

poise_and_rationality
Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46
my mind
6 posted 2006-05-07 12:05 PM


well done on the post keep up the good work
stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
7 posted 2006-05-07 05:26 PM


uhh... poise? You're triple posting

@-->---

bekahlekah45
Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533

8 posted 2006-05-07 05:57 PM


okay i really liked this poem.  a lot.  nice job.  
and i hafta laugh because of stargals last comment. i just thought it was cute how she said..uhh poise, you're triple posting.  I laughed. okay sorry.  anyways

i really really liked this

pullingxthextrigger
Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133
MA,..USA llx
9 posted 2006-05-08 11:13 PM


lol hahahahaha laughing's contagiuos!!!
i think she triple posted because she loved the poem so much...hahahahaha that was hilarious!!!!!


~nora<3

your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD!

Peach
Junior Member
since 2002-11-17
Posts 33

10 posted 2006-05-09 09:38 PM


Thanks for all the replies, I REALLY appreciate it, even the triple posts

If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

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