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Teen Poetry #7
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abortion
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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abortion |
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poise_and_rationality Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46my mind |
just to inform this isn't me or anyone i know....sorry at the end i couldnt think of an ending if its pretty bad ...let me know what you think the way you reacted you say we'll be distracted no ifs, buts, or maybe i'm having your baby you want me to abort it'll leave me distraught why dont you care? my world's starting to tear i thought of a name why can't you feel the same? it'll be due soon the night of the new moon you wont forgive it just wants to live the baby is a she and looks just like me you took for granted everything we had just to find out something new but that was just you par x house of compusure where is your posture? [This message has been edited by poise_and_rationality (05-07-2006 12:48 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Dani - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
A little confusing? idk..i was just confused. |
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poise_and_rationality Junior Member
since 2006-05-06
Posts 46my mind |
well what was confusing?? my heads spinnig now i'm confused too lol i'll explain what you think was confusing house of composure where is your posture?[URL=http://www.glitteryourway.com][IMG]http://i1.glitteryourway.com/2/6f2126a10ab01dc7f196e1737a8f3d0c.gif[/ |
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cherrys_rule Member
since 2006-03-18
Posts 442 |
yeah it was a little confusing. I would have to Agree. I know you might be going through something right now, but this poem will get some People confused. I actually had to think what you were trying to say. But other than that. I hope you don't do Abortion , your killing off someone that can probably change the whole world. I'm really against Abortion. You should read the Poem that was written by someone that wrote on here about Abortion. I hope you changed your discision. Sorry about this long thing. |
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Junebug Junior Member
since 2006-04-23
Posts 40earth |
uh yo cherrys.....uh she said it wasnt about herself...or anything....just saying...but i love this poem! i didnt find it confusing! it rocks in my opinion...but yeah i think it does need a lil more the the end but other then that ~>BRAVO<~ |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
i could hardly read it. the flow was rough, the thoughts were scattered, the imagery wasn't existent, and the rhyme was tortureously forced. its good to get stuff down on paper, but definately go grab some poetry books from the library and see how the pro's wrote. try and find some bukowski or jeffers. those guys are incredible. keep writing though. |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
Not one of my favorite by you but I think you had the right idea for the title.. keep it up.. and maybe find some true inspiration..  from where I'm not sure.. but it'll come to you..~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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pullingxthextrigger Member
since 2006-05-01
Posts 133MA,..USA llx |
i rly like this one and i liked the message awesome job keep it up ~nora <3 p.s)) have sum composture where is your posture? lol hahaha thats stuck in my head P!ATD! rox lol k glad u like it 2 kbye your pulling the trigger, pulling the trigger all wrong llx - P!ATD! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I have to agree on this not being one of your better ones… But I also didn’t find this confusing at all, I thought it had a neat overall idea to it, but it needs a little work, a little more polish. Umm, other than that, I don’t have much to say, everyone else already said it… Sorry, I’m not much help  @-->--- |
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