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Teen Poetry #7
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Who Wants To Live Forever?
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Who Wants To Live Forever? |
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sometimesitslonely Junior Member
since 2005-12-27
Posts 41USA |
Those pretty little words, how they sounded so nice, but in the end all they were, is what they had started as... Words. You always made me feel so beautiful, like I could do anything, go any where without a care, and you right in the end we were so... useless. So just, go back to someone you actually want, not to some flavor of the week, I'm sure she's waiting I'm sure shes... lonely. Who wants to live forever, in the end you'll always die, a circle will always be broken, it's just how you picture it in your... thoughts. This smile is fake, |
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| © Copyright 2006 sometimesitslonely - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I liked this very much.. keep it up.. ~heather  Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
It’s cool, very unique. *Leah |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I like it. How the last line only had one word in each stanza. Thats cool and unique. The only thing that I noticed that was a little thing, in your third stanza on the first line there are only two words and all the others have four, five and seven. It might look and flow better if it had more of a pattern. Those kinda things just stick out to me. Please forgive me if any thing in this post is rude. Jessica |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Your title captured my attention~ I've just done my fifth reading of a tiny little novel entitled "Tuck Everlasting" ... I think you would find it interesting as it relates to 'living forever'~ Nicely done~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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electricxheart Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 184far away from home. |
awesome. it's different then a lot of the poetry on here/ keep writing --kelly |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Yes, I agree, this is so much different from anything I've ever seen! I'm not really sure what I think of it... I know that I like the general idea, the thoughts in this, but i'm not sure if this is a poem I love, love, not offence. I've seen a few poems by you and I enjoy all of them, this just might not be my favorite... I'll have to read it tomorrow when i wake up and decide  Good job though, like Jessica said, i love the way this is setup, very unique! @-->--- |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I'm so touched when people refer to my post. I really am.    Jessica |
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