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Teen Poetry #7
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my Birthday...for leah
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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my Birthday...for leah |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
This piece i wrote after my birthday.it is not really much of a poem but it's something from me to read. i wrote it for leah (aliway) as she wanted to know how my day went.... Its here! My big day has arrived. Aahh I can’t believe it, All eyes on me. Today is my day I sprung out of bed Came downstairs were you were waiting to bid me my happy birthday Your always there making sure i'm happy. We had breakfast, Fruit and yogurt of which you had put together for me, While I was asleep. I slipped into my carefully picked, just above the knee, ruby red, Beaded but not too over the top dress. And popped on my gorgeous Gucci sandals Again, not to over the top as I had a lot of partying to do tonight. You showered me with jewellery which you tenderly put on to me “Lovely, you look lovely” you told me, and that alone made my day! We got into a cab and drove to the salon Were you made sure to tend to my every need. A true gentelmen. Four hours later we were back home I looked dazzling and you looked perfect acquainting me. As we came into the hall everyone cheered to see us. I had a perfect smile on my face Knowing that everything would be just fine. Trough the whole night we mingled and chatted I received more than enough gifts I had made the remark “we’ll have to get a bigger house” More than once, And you nodded in approval to my every word. Letting nothing disappoint me. It was time, It was our song. I was reluctant at first But you grabbed my hand and pulled me on to the dance floor, Every one centered us and we had a dazzling dance. It felt wonderful. 12.00 Midnight, The fireworks went off As you held me close. And by 1 am we were in the cab home. I had a dazzling experience and a faboulas time. Just thought I’d let you know. forever xxx i'm looking for you...always... [This message has been edited by curiouse (04-11-2006 11:26 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved | |||
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
hey guys. i hope to get some feed back on this one as it is much more different to what and how i usually write. and it was a truly amazing experience. thankyou and smiles, curiouse |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
You’re party sounds amazing. I’m guessing you have a boyfriend… you must tell me his name on your next email to me. But he sounds great! Oh yeah… thinks for posting the poem it was great. Hey you but my name in your title yeah. Your friend *leah |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
yes, yes, yes to everything i am sooo happy anyway thankyou for your posting talk to you later. smiles, me! i'm looking for you...always... |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
i have sent you an email leah. read it lol smiles me |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow, your right, this is a lot more different than anything I’ve ever seen you write, and I’m not quite sure what I think of it. I think it has a great overall idea, but I’m not all that crazy about the rhythm, at least I can’t seem to find much of one. Unless of course the style of this poem, I think it’s almost more like a narrative, is to have no rhythm? What was your idea on this? I like the stanzas in this though, and how you separated them into categories, well, not categories but like into different ideas… That’s a little confusing, hope you know what I mean. Good job though! Hope you had a great birthday, and even though it’s a little late, happy birthday from me  @-->--- |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
as i said it was not really meant to be a poem a rythm was not realy set i just told a little story of part of my life thenkyou for your birthday greeting and interst in posting, me i'm looking for you...always... |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
OopS! I didn't read where you said it wasn't really meant to be a poem  @-->--- |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
it's o.k thanx for your interset though. |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I read this a while ago then looked at all the posts you had. It was like a long conversation so I chose not to ruin that conversation and post. Now it looks like that conversation of yours is over so now I'll post. Its good. Tht is all. Jessica |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
jessica, you should have posted before thnkyou for your interest and your welcome to join in any time, smiles, me. i'm looking for you...always... |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
Well thanx |
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