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electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

0 posted 2006-04-10 05:51 PM

whispers
dancing throughout the sun rays
and it leaves me to wonder
if all this time means something
if your eyes are really wanting
(starving)
to search me deeper
to know my heart better then before
when all my uncertainty
came crashing down
around your presence

and i keep running
hoping to find myself
out upon those miles
fake smile after smile
but i keep coming up with a fistful
of springtime air
wispy and carefree
dancing out of my reach
going nowhere

and can i even hold on?
when he whispers,
and he whispers…
“sing for me, kelly
and i’ll sing along”
with these words that fit so perfectly
on my tongue,
fit so perfectly on our lips

colliding into something,
i’ve always asked for this…
and it leaves me to wonder
if all this time means something
if your eyes are really wanting
(starving)
to search me deeper
to know my heart better then before

i’ll sing for you
i’ll sing for you
for you to see who i truly am
this is all i can do…

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 248

1 posted 2006-04-10 09:28 PM

Wow. Kelly, This is FANTASTIC. Absolutely breathtaking. You capture so much here. Don't change a word. Well written, and thanks so much for sharing

<3keryn

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Mae West

curiouse
Member

since 2006-03-21

Posts 277
england

2 posted 2006-04-11 11:18 AM

this is AMAZING i can not believ you havn't got more replies. i love it your words were tender yet they had such presence.
one of my favourites.
thankyou
smiles,
curiouse

i'm looking for you...always...

dramaticaddict
Junior Member

since 2006-04-13

Posts 10
ny, usa

3 posted 2006-04-16 12:20 PM

i
absolulely
adore
this
poem

it was incredible. honestly.

my favorite line was definitely:
and i keep running hoping to find myself out upon those miles

perfection

<3cassie.

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

4 posted 2006-04-16 10:43 PM

I wouldn't change a word I would just capitalize it. Sorry I know that my reply isn't really complimenting you like all the other posters did above me. I think that most people like compliments, but would like to know what could be better about their work more.

Sorry that was kind of babbiling. I am really frusterated today.
Anyways, it could use some capitalization and I think that it flowed alright. Sorry.

Jessica

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