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Teen Poetry #7
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Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

0 posted 2006-04-09 02:41 AM



Swimming through a crowded sea listening to peoples thoughts about me
trying to tell them that this is not the real me im just trying to see who I am and who I wnna be!


Maybe soon I can find me but first I have to face my dream, that its not going to come true and I need to move on without you two
its not going to be easy but anything is possible ... apparently


so this is a note goodbye
I love you both and wish you the best in your life
maybe one day you will want to find me and we can be a family
goodbye now
xoxo ... me

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

© Copyright 2006 Free_Spirit07 - All Rights Reserved
latteaddict213
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
1 posted 2006-04-09 01:34 PM


All I have to say is basicly every thing I said on your other post. You forgot the a in wanna again. It could used more of an organizational pattern. Do not take anything I post the wrong way please.

                Jessica

stargal
Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352
OR USA
2 posted 2006-04-12 05:27 PM


Hey,

I'm not really sure what to say, I know that some of your previous posts have been about your brothers, and i'm guessing that is what this one is about also...

Like Jessica said, needs a little better organization. It could also be a little confusing for anyone who has not read your other posts, it might need a little more structure giving us more of an idea of what you are talking about. There are a few spelling errors, but nothing dramatic.

I like this so much though, maybe cause i can relate to it in many ways,

"I love you both and wish you the best in your life
maybe one day you will want to find me and we can be a family"


Hope to see more soon, sorry it has taken me so long to post, you know how busy life is!

I'll see you on yahoo sometime? Hope your doing good

@-->---

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