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No idea
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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No idea |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow, everyone again I apologize this is so long, it is actually been edited down to make it not as long as it still is! I'm hoping everyone could help me in deciding what stanzas to edit out, or how to improve this poem cause I find it's a little confusing. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please don’t call me anymore Cause I can’t take the pain The reminder of what was Makes it so there is a strain This pain has made me weak Taught me that what I seek, I’ll not receive from thee Yet I doubt that you care You’re wrapped up inside yourself I think you do not see… I can’t close my eyes And pretend to not realize How much you think I let you down Yet I tried for so long but you didn’t seem to see Now it’s almost to late for you and me… You’re missing out on what could be The you and me, what we should be Or is it just me, can I not forgive and forget Shall I not live with regrets? Part of me is dead, it cannot grow back Yet what about something new? A new me a new you The same, yet not the same? How my headaches How my heartbreaks… I’m no longer sure what to do I do know this one thing is true I know I should forgive you What I wouldn’t do for a wish A machine of time, a hole in the sky, something to erase all the bad I want so much to go back To undo the past Yet it is to late for that… I can’t change the past But I’ll decide the future No more of this misery There’s not going to be you and me I’m not taking this anymore I’m moving on that’s for sure Don’t hold me back, or hold me in We’re through, what I say is true… @-->--- |
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| © Copyright 2006 stargal - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BlackEyedBueaty07 Junior Member
since 2006-04-05
Posts 27rittman, ohio |
this poem is very good! i think it couldve flowd a little better though! but other than that it was good! I could really relate to this poem! -kerry- |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
Stargal you dont need to get rid of any stanzas. Its perfect the way it is. Its really really really great. Stargal your picky. Cheers. Jessica |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
Don’t cut any out. It’s great as is. I love how it goes from wondering to knowing. *leah |
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