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Teen Poetry #7
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Not Sure about something
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Not Sure about something |
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BlackEyedBueaty07 Junior Member
since 2006-04-05
Posts 27rittman, ohio |
For Real? by: Kerry Cookro To: Kayla Phillips I hope you dont take this wrong Im just speaking my mind All the things we've done together All curled up inside. Ive never met a friend like you You always speak your mind But this time im gonna unwind And tell you whats deep inside. Ive had fun hanging out with you All the times we shared Laughing, arguing about whose fatter. Just hanging out and being there. But i want to ask you a question And i hope youll tell me the truth. What would you do if your best friend wasnt really your best friend? Would you cry? Cuz all the time she just felt sorry for you? Would you unwind to the place where she called you names? Sometimes i feel this way Cuz you say you care But yet your never there Your always with your 'other friends' who say they care But sometimes i wonder Are they even there? To be your friend? Or are they just sorry? We get along fine We have like the same mind but please tell me the truth Are you lying? Am i really your friend? Or do you feel sorry Cuz my hearts been bend? I dont know what the thing is Sometimes i think its your friends Holding you back from me because im not 'cool' enough And sometimes i think its me 'Have i been cruel?' And so i ask Am i your friend For Real? |
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| © Copyright 2006 kerry lynn cookro - All Rights Reserved | |||
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bekahlekah45 Senior Member
since 2006-03-14
Posts 533 |
adding stanzas would make it easier to understand but idc cuz i still loved it. i can really relate to this right now. it was very good. great write! |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
yes, i agree that stanzas would make the poem better but your feelings nicely flowed on the page i can totally relate fantastic write. curiouse Curioustity is a fine gift... |
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John O'Driscoll Junior Member
since 2006-03-13
Posts 43Sandy, Utah |
Yeah i noticed the stanza things too but i thought it added alot to it. Loved it JOhn o. True happiness is found after you think you have irretrievably lost it |
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BlackEyedBueaty07 Junior Member
since 2006-04-05
Posts 27rittman, ohio |
Thnx, i know, i was in a rush when i did it, so i kinda didnt have time for stanzas. check out my other poem 'Cant Sleep' |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
Stanza's would be good for it. its flow is pretty good, but maybe you should read it out loud to yourself and see where it needs to be reworded slightly. Jessica |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Wow! The emotion in this poem seems to jump off the screen. I have to agree with everyone else on the stanzas thing, it would make this poem easier to read, but I also think that this poem is so good stanzas do not matter that much. Although, I do think that in some parts it flowed kind of stiff, what I would do is take the time to read it out loud to yourself, see if you find anything that needs changing. Great poem though, I love the last question at the very end. Can’t wait to see more from you! @-->--- |
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