Teen Poetry #7 |
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my lover... |
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curiouse Member
since 2006-03-21
Posts 277england |
I know that I’m o.k. I know that I’m going to make it And you did it all You made me believe that... I could be whatever I desired You made believe I was your epidemy I was wonderfully beautiful I was intelligent and full of personality I was your woman! And no one could take that away from us… Except for her of course That one that you just fell in love with. Like that girl was more than me. More than I could ever be Until now that is... Now that you have come back to me. Now that she’s not what you thought Well, baby I’m not either I’m not a pushover, Or a hangover for that matter... And you were right, I am beautiful, Intelligent And full of personality... ..Enough to realize when I’m being used And when I’m being loved So I met and found and love someone Who wants ME… So I don’t need you anymore, But then again you can fool anyone So I don’t believe you need me... All the best…. Curioustity is a fine gift... |
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© Copyright 2006 whatever you want it to be - All Rights Reserved | |||
stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
This is a good poem; I love how you’re all “I don’t need you anymore” more power to you! One thing you might think about is stanzas, yes, I’m a stanzas kind of person, I like them just because they make it so much easier for me to read the poem, also because it breaks the poem up, so that each stanza is a different part of the story, not just one long flowing thing, but either way is cool. You might want to read this poem allowed to yourself, I feel like it is stiff in some spots, but that could just be me… Good job though, I really like this poem! @-->--- |
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aliway Member
since 2006-03-05
Posts 185With in your eyes |
Love you’re poem!! Great idea I do have to agree with stargal about the stanzas, it would make it easier to read |
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*Alli4000*![]()
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Very strong write, glad you're taking action! ~Alli~ |
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latteaddict213![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
i agree stanzas would be good for this. Jessica (ps. sorry i cant offer more right now maybe later) |
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latteaddict213![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I'm back. Maybe you could even out the lines a little bit. the poem is really good just needs some organization. Jessica |
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