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Teen Poetry #7

Insert And Decay

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-26 04:22 PM

It's another hit and miss with me,
another sink or swim in seas,
will this chain letter ever break,
or am I just a cause and affect?

I did not mean to spread my pain,
never meant to fall so far from grace,
but I will always be a failure in your eyes,
and I am used to it.

The aching of unforgiveness,
the scorching of hating someone else,
where skulls decay,
we've hit solid ground,
now it's back to earth.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-04-01 12:52 PM

Okay, I really like a lot of the lines in this poem! At first I was like, what sort of poem will this be with a title like THAT… I found I really enjoyed it though.
Although, let me suggest you read it allowed to yourself once or twice to see how well you think it flows, I personally thought it was a little stiff in parts…

I really like these lines though,

“It's another hit and miss with me,
another sink or swim in seas”

or,

“I did not mean to spread my pain,
never meant to fall so far from grace,
but I will always be a failure in your eyes,”.

Good job on the poem, I’m sorry no one has posted a reply sooner than this!

@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2006-04-01 11:14 PM

Really enjoyed this poem, sorry I didn't see it sooner.
Hope to read more from you soon!

~Alli~

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-04-03 01:20 AM

enjoyed. can't post now but i'll try to post more tommorow.

Jessica

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

4 posted 2006-04-03 05:00 PM

I like your poem
Its nice to read a sort one once in a will

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

5 posted 2006-04-08 07:38 PM

Okay that took a lot more then a day. Sorry. Your poem is sad but well written. Nice work. I like so many lines that if I posted them all here I would be posting your whole poem. I really enjoyed reading it.

Jessica

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