Do I Want To Much Nick - pipTalk Forums

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Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

0 posted 2006-03-31 04:45 AM

I want to wake up and wipe my eyes
I want to see what hurts deep inside
I want to open up my troubled past
I want to know that you will hold me safely in your arms
I want you to know I love you with all my heart

through storms and thunder I held my pain
through walls of clutter I want to see you again
through all this hurt and pain im afraid that I cant let you go I need you like I live tomorrow
hold me now and forget the sorrow

I want to much, but most of all I want you to know that I love you
like a thousand doves flying up above I love you so why is it not enough?

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-04-03 01:15 PM

Hi again!

Let me say it’s an honor I get to be the first one to post on this post? :P

Umm, I’m not really sure what I think on this poem, I like how you start out with the “I want” but I feel like you get a little carried away with that… just a little bit!

This part “I want you to know I love you with all my heart” it’s not confusing it is a little hard to read though, it’s like a tongue twister.

I also do not think I would have made the title what it is. It’s a good title, I might have just left out the “nick” part, since you do not mention him in the rest of the poem by name.

Okay, all I have said is negative stuff so far! I really like the second stanza, my favorite part by far.

Where it says, “though storms and thunder I hold my pain, through walls of clutter I want to see you again”.

Great poem! (there, I said it too)
I’m sorry it has taken me so long to post on it! I just didn’t know what to think about the poem at first, I’ve spent 2 days reading it.

Keep postin!~

@-->---

curiouse
Member

since 2006-03-21

Posts 277
england