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mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

0 posted 2006-03-31 07:24 PM

Winter snow
pine trees
cloudy skies
bitter breeze

Spring flowers
swaying trees
golden sun
steady breeze

Summer heat
leafy trees
sweaty days
warm breeze

Fall colds
naked trees
orange colors
chilly breeze

Four seasons
changing trees
mixed up weather
constant breeze

[This message has been edited by mgoodman1989 (04-01-2006 01:10 PM).]

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-03-31 10:17 PM

Wow! I like this poem a lot, mostly cause after every “season” it has a breeze.
That just makes the poem very interesting, I love how the weather is, and I’m glad someone wrote something about it!

Umm, on this stanza,

“Fall uncertainty
naked trees
orange colours
chilly breeze”

I feel like it lost a little bit of rhythm, maybe it’s the word “uncertainty” where I thought it went a little stiff.

I love the first stanza though! I say, “love” a lot

No, really, that’s one of my favorite seasons, and I feel like you described it just right.
This poem had simple words in it, nothing extravagant, most people who try to write like that sometimes screw the whole thing up, I feel like you did an awesome job!

Keep up the good work.

P.S. You might want to spell check your poem, I noticed one or two errors.

@-->---

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

2 posted 2006-03-31 11:46 PM

Yes nice poem! You have a talent

yes couple of spelling errors. But all up

!

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

3 posted 2006-04-02 08:38 PM

Thanx!! It really means a lot hearing that people actually enjoy reading the things I post!!

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

4 posted 2006-04-03 11:56 PM

I love this poem
I love how you did Spring.
Keep writing

curiouse
Member

since 2006-03-21

Posts 277
england

5 posted 2006-04-04 03:49 AM

this is lovely,
curiouse

Curioustity is a fine gift...

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

6 posted 2006-04-07 05:16 PM

Thanks all!

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

7 posted 2006-04-08 07:23 PM

I like that it say how the trees and breeze is for every season. Thats cool. Nice write.

Jessica

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