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Teen Poetry #7

End Of Heartbreak

sometimesitslonely
Junior Member

since 2005-12-27

Posts 41
USA

0 posted 2006-03-13 04:33 PM

This time it's over,
this time I'm not going back.
I am never going to tell you I love you again,
I never meant what I told you.

Your kisses were so beautiful,
I now stand alone again.
I cry in my sleep,
and calll your name.

Your words were sweet, oh so kind,
behind my back they were so callus.
I miss the way you lied to me,
you made it so believable.

This smile is fake,
These tears aren't.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

1 posted 2006-03-13 05:53 PM

Hey,

It expresses a lot of emotion! Which i like to see in poems. It's just that i felt this could flow a little better :S

You have made a few mistakes in spelling...
But i love what you say in the poem

@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

2 posted 2006-03-17 07:05 PM

Excellent write. Like Stargirl said, it has a lot of emotion. Keep writing.

~Alli~

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