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littlelauren
Junior Member

since 2005-12-30

Posts 25

0 posted 2006-01-04 02:22 PM

All the joy is over
no-more parties
or gifts
now all there is
is a couch of old stiffs

The parties are over
the drink is all gone
the turkeys all bones
the old year is done

Won't see family or friends
for quite some time
not all togeather
no-more holiday rhymes

Back to school we go
are clothes are no-longer formal
sad for everyone cause it's
back to normal!

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

1 posted 2006-02-12 04:54 PM

i loved this poem-

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

2 posted 2006-02-12 11:36 PM

- I like this

x0x0
free_Spirit07

fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-03-09 02:48 PM

its ccoooll

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

4 posted 2006-03-09 07:25 PM

I enjoyed this.. it was a little different than most poems on here but it was good.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

5 posted 2006-03-12 04:58 PM

I liked this poem, because it WAS different!

Just a few suggestions though...

I feel like you should change the, "no more parties or gifts", to, "no more parties no more gifts", doesn't make that much difference but i thought i flowed better that way.
Also in my own odd opinion i thought it should be, "the old year is gone", dunno why exactly i felt that way, it just stood out to me that it didn't seem quite right... No offence of course! Everyone has their own style, and i'm just speaking from my point of view...

All in all great job! Loved how this was something new! Watch your spelling ... but keep up the good work

@-->---

*Alli4000*

Member Elite

since 2004-03-21

Posts 3188
The World of Poetry

6 posted 2006-03-17 07:07 PM

Ha, I can totally relate to this one. Nice work!

~Alli~

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