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Teen Poetry #7

Feel out of place

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-03-09 04:46 PM

what would they do?
what would they say?
if they found out I was afraid
that every night I dread the next day

but I wish I could say
all the things that I feel
but as time goes by
I get shyer and quiet
more out of place

would they stay at ease?
to hear I won’t give up
on my dreams
I’ll stay in the fight
if it takes all of my might

what would they do?
what would they say?
if they found out I was afraid
that I fear every day

I know I’m not alone
those others feel the same
feeling lost from it all
but it doesn’t do any good
I still feel out of place

I wish they would see
that I’m reaching out
for some help
I’m sick of these feeling
I just won’t to yell at them all

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-03-09 04:58 PM

Its very good. Deep. had to read it twice before i got it but thats probaly just me.

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-03-09 06:40 PM

I agree with Jessica this was a very deep piece but some of the word phrasing (the way you worded some of the stanzas) confused me and I had to reread it.. other than that this was a great poem.

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-03-10 01:19 PM

I have to agree with everyone else, it is a little bit confusing to read!

I enjoyed reading it though, good job

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