Love Poem: Sweet LikeYour Eyes

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the_hoodANDsheild
Junior Member

since 2006-03-08

Posts 25
Canada

0 posted 2006-03-08 10:41 PM

Your eyes are like sparkling sapphires gleaming at me
like a innocent baby learning to walk
like a whirlpool of thoughts and feelings
like a forceful hurricane, like a soft kitten
sleeping in a bed of silk, like a great mystery from an ancient world
a mirror of truth on the wall
a warm ray of light breaking through the clouds
a safe place to fall into
Like a impenetrable fortress
like a wild animal ready to pounce
like the stars of the cosmos
a orbit of their own, a beautiful work of art
with a vibrancy of life that is unmatched
like the never ending waves of the ocean on a warm summer night
like the dancing fingers of fire keeping me warm
a melting glacier in the arctic, like a cure
to save a broken heart, like a breath
of fresh mountain air, like the budding of leaves
in the early spring
the first sign that winter has left and warm weather has returned
a beacon for all that is good in the world
the lighthouse that guides on a stormy night
like the unknown force that drags you in
like gleaming jewels behind a glass window
like a unobtainable planet in another galaxy
and a secret untold, like a leap of faith
unsure of where to land, like lightning exploding across the sky
like a tear hitting a blank sheet of paper
like an early morning sunrise peaking above the horizon
like a strong wind pushing me towards an unknown direction
and I have no choice but to go along.
---------------------------------------------------
I got this style from a Canadian poet named Michael Ondaatje, but the poem itself is completely original. This was also inspired by a girl that I really like but she does not know yet... so shhhh

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-03-08 11:17 PM

its good nice

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-03-09 01:10 AM

This is a really sweet poem! I doubt my own boyfriend would ever say anything like this to me... 0ne thing, maybe you would consider adding stanzas? It's a little hard to read. I mean, you lose your place a lot! So it's harder for the reader to get into it when their constantly having to look back trying to figure out where they are, you know?

I might have said this about one of your other poems... If so i apologize

I have read two of your poems and i love them both so far

Thanks for the pleasure of being able to enjoy your work

@-->---

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

3 posted 2006-03-27 02:57 AM

I love you’re poem, but adding stanzas would make it easer to read.
Hope to read more of you’re work soon.

curiouse
Member

since 2006-03-21

Posts 277
england

4 posted 2006-04-03 08:03 AM

i do agree with the stanzas bit but who am to say, i don't include stanzas in my poetry either, something in nedde to work on!
wonderfull write, though
i love your work
curiouse

Curioustity is a fine gift...

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

5 posted 2006-04-03 07:49 PM

beautiful.
=)

--kelly

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