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Teen Poetry #7

Reality

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

0 posted 2006-03-08 08:01 PM

I’m sick of this place
Where all wear a mask
there’s no truth in this world
only despair and distrust
I can’t stand it any more
Is this how it’s always will be
Lying and crying
No hope for sanity
We’re too long gone
to be saved from reality

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-03-08 08:37 PM

cool. it flows and ryhmes very well. nice work.

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-03-08 09:26 PM

Wow! I really, really, enjoyed reading this!
I’m not sure why, maybe it’s just because I feel like this poem says sometimes.

One thing you might want to do is switch this line, “Is this how it’s always will be”, to something else. Just a thought though.

I’d love to see more of your poems, so I hope you take the time to create more for my enjoyment!

My, that sounds rather selfish….

@-->---

aliway
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 185
With in your eyes

3 posted 2006-03-08 11:48 PM

No, you don’t sound selfish at all.
I like that you like my work. If you believe it or not you give me confidences to keep writhing

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