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cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

0 posted 2006-07-09 07:15 PM

There's people all around, but you were nowhere to be found. Why did we have that fight last night?
I wish I had said that I was right.
I'm sorry I said I hated you and wished for you to die. But do you see what your putting me through? I'm gonna cry.I'm going through hell, does that ring a bell? I said I loved you, but now I'm not sure?
What is this game we play, Simmon says? I'm not your slave, you're not gonna tell me what to do.I'm not gonna listen to you.
Screw all the things you said. You're just finding ways to make me mad.
You said you'd love me now and forever for worse or for better.I thought God had sent me an angel from above. But really He sent me my unfaithful love.

This may not make sence to you guys, but it really makes sence to me, but if you were in my situation you would know exactlly where I'm coming from. I was in a abusive relationship, so that's all what I'm really saying in this poem i have wrote here.

Sorry I haven't wrote any poems lately.

~You might have scars all over your body, but what about the ones engraved in your memories.~

[This message has been edited by cherrys_rule (07-10-2006 08:03 PM).]

cherrys_rule
Member

since 2006-03-18

Posts 442

1 posted 2006-07-09 08:39 PM

I would like to know what you think though.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

2 posted 2006-07-09 09:22 PM

I really liked this poem... I think that it would be better if it were put into stanzas or something but I really like your word usage and the meaning behind this. I can relate.. good job..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2006-07-10 11:18 AM

Well, I thought it was slightly confusing, at least for me, and I think it was because of the warring emotions in this poem? I’m not sure… I liked it though it was kind of different.

I thought that the ending part is what really brought this whole poem together, the part where you talk about how you though God had sent you an angel and onward. That’s the part I really liked.

I agree on the stanza thing though, it would help to be able to read this in stanzas, might also help me not to be so confused at some of the lines… but, yeah, or maybe even spaces between some of the lines? I don’t know.

I wouldn’t say this was my favorite poem ever written by you but I found it to be an enjoyable read. I can’t wait to read more by you

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