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Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

0 posted 2006-03-02 09:30 PM

They tell me that life goes on and your not a child for long
that your gray skies wont carry on
one day you'll have to face this life alone
there is really a tomorrow
the list goes on.......

you'll be fine really it does not stay like this for long
you'll look back and think about all these things you have missed out on
all them years and days of you just thinking if there is a next day
if so will all my fears and pain just float away?
they all say that this is just the beginning
but that this pain will soon come to an ending

Im lost at what they say
I don't think I can last another day
I know one thing though my memories will always stay
no matter where I am
no mater what im doing
this hurt and pain will be never ending!

I find it hard to even think of the next day
but if I think about it that's what i'v done till this very day
tomorrow will be the same...

maybe one day it will be great
maybe one day i'll graduate and get married
might even be telling my kids about this list that is never ending
the list that people would go out of there way to be saying

but hay I think im getting carried away
if... and... maybe
I might see you
on what sounds like a perfect day!?!

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

1 posted 2006-03-02 09:51 PM

"this hurt and pain will be never ending"
you should change that to:
this hurt and pain will never end.
flows a little better.
but the poem on the whole was great. i LOVE the ending. very much so. and i hope i shall see you then too.
*karissa*

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

2 posted 2006-03-04 05:11 PM

hey there! Yeah thanks for that it does sound better

and i will see you too

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-03-04 11:16 PM

"you'll be fine really it does not stay like this for long
you'll look back and think about all these things you have missed out on
all them years and days of you just thinking if there is a next day
if so will all my fears and pain just float away?
they all say that this is just the beginning
but that this pain will soon come to an ending

Im lost at what they say
I don't think I can last another day
I know one thing though my memories will always stay
no matter where I am
no mater what im doing
this hurt and pain will be never ending!"
I liked these the most. just the flow how one leads into another... its just so coool

           Jessica
              :)
    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

4 posted 2006-03-06 01:37 AM

Hey thanks 4 that gurl

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

helenadepp
Member

since 2006-01-16

Posts 59
durham, england

5 posted 2006-03-07 02:51 PM

There was clearly alot of emotion put into this and it shows. Enjoyed reading it.

*Hugs*

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

6 posted 2006-03-07 05:50 PM

Hey,

I really like how you put a lot of emotion into your poems!

Although, the part, “That gray skies won’t carry on”, I don’t know… I mean, some how I think it’s adults who say that “You won’t be a child for long you have to face the world ect…” in my experience adults don’t really think kids have, “gray skies”. It’s more like they think kids have life easy, we have no difficulties, and they should know “I know what your going through I was a kid once too!”.

I’m not exactly sure what I am trying to say, that part just sticks out oddly to me.

Other than that keep writing!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

7 posted 2006-03-07 05:51 PM

P.S. Sorry, I really don’t know what I’m talking about

@-->---

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

8 posted 2006-03-07 11:47 PM

Hey there, yes i get you they always think we have an alright life - but .. and im not saying i have had the worst life but it aint been easy and still isnt....but i go to a school and like its christain based and they always say that..well near enough that

ok i just really confused you...right?

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

9 posted 2006-03-08 12:42 PM

Ummm... Yeah, what you said is much more confusing than i find your poem at the moment!

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

10 posted 2006-03-09 04:05 AM

Oh boy! Im really sorry i get where your coming from. But i cant explain what i have to say about it. So maybe i will just leave it alone and im sorry for really confusing you i feel real as bad...im not to good at talking about stuff....and this happens to be really hard\confusing to talk about. I hope there isnt any hard feelings. I truly am SO SO SO SO SORRY

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
~%#*So far from perfect!*#%~
~%#*So far from life and living!*#%~

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