Teen Poetry #7 |
what they say |
Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
They tell me that life goes on and your not a child for long that your gray skies wont carry on one day you'll have to face this life alone there is really a tomorrow the list goes on....... you'll be fine really it does not stay like this for long you'll look back and think about all these things you have missed out on all them years and days of you just thinking if there is a next day if so will all my fears and pain just float away? they all say that this is just the beginning but that this pain will soon come to an ending Im lost at what they say I don't think I can last another day I know one thing though my memories will always stay no matter where I am no mater what im doing this hurt and pain will be never ending! I find it hard to even think of the next day but if I think about it that's what i'v done till this very day tomorrow will be the same... maybe one day it will be great maybe one day i'll graduate and get married might even be telling my kids about this list that is never ending the list that people would go out of there way to be saying but hay I think im getting carried away if... and... maybe I might see you on what sounds like a perfect day!?! x0x0 |
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kissa~rachelle Senior Member
since 2003-11-27
Posts 988nowhere special |
"this hurt and pain will be never ending" you should change that to: this hurt and pain will never end. flows a little better. but the poem on the whole was great. i LOVE the ending. very much so. and i hope i shall see you then too. *karissa* I ask why, but in my mind, |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
hey there! Yeah thanks for that it does sound better and i will see you too x0x0 |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
"you'll be fine really it does not stay like this for long you'll look back and think about all these things you have missed out on all them years and days of you just thinking if there is a next day if so will all my fears and pain just float away? they all say that this is just the beginning but that this pain will soon come to an ending Im lost at what they say I don't think I can last another day I know one thing though my memories will always stay no matter where I am no mater what im doing this hurt and pain will be never ending!" I liked these the most. just the flow how one leads into another... its just so coool Jessica |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hey thanks 4 that gurl x0x0 |
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helenadepp Member
since 2006-01-16
Posts 59durham, england |
There was clearly alot of emotion put into this and it shows. Enjoyed reading it. *Hugs* |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey, I really like how you put a lot of emotion into your poems! Although, the part, “That gray skies won’t carry on”, I don’t know… I mean, some how I think it’s adults who say that “You won’t be a child for long you have to face the world ect…” in my experience adults don’t really think kids have, “gray skies”. It’s more like they think kids have life easy, we have no difficulties, and they should know “I know what your going through I was a kid once too!”. I’m not exactly sure what I am trying to say, that part just sticks out oddly to me. Other than that keep writing! |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
P.S. Sorry, I really don’t know what I’m talking about @-->--- |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Hey there, yes i get you they always think we have an alright life - but .. and im not saying i have had the worst life but it aint been easy and still isnt....but i go to a school and like its christain based and they always say that..well near enough that ok i just really confused you...right? x0x0 |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Ummm... Yeah, what you said is much more confusing than i find your poem at the moment! |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
Oh boy! Im really sorry i get where your coming from. But i cant explain what i have to say about it. So maybe i will just leave it alone and im sorry for really confusing you i feel real as bad...im not to good at talking about stuff....and this happens to be really hard\confusing to talk about. I hope there isnt any hard feelings. I truly am SO SO SO SO SORRY x0x0 |
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