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Teen Poetry #7

Life Revolving

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

0 posted 2006-02-26 01:27 PM

Life revolving unrelentless.
Sorrows mount with no forgiveness.

Anger boils deep within,
As life unhappy dims in sin.

Passions led to quick embrace,
Quick embrace to long entangle.

Frustrations light the path
Of ever building wrath.

Happiness so hard to catch,
A prize this one never gets.

A soul’s cry to heavenward
For sadness mounting ever inward.

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

1 posted 2006-02-26 01:59 PM

Hey this is awesome-love the ryme and the flow

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2006-02-26 04:52 PM

sad but true

"Passions led to quick embrace,
Quick embrace to long entangle."

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-02-26 07:13 PM

it flows very well

            xoxo
           Jessica

Where your heart lays
is where you belong.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

4 posted 2006-02-26 10:39 PM

Frustrations light the path
Of ever building wrath.

Happiness so hard to catch,
A prize this one never gets.

A soul’s cry to heavenward
For sadness mounting ever inward.

Well done - and hopefully this feeling and term of service will end soon for you. Hang in there.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

5 posted 2006-02-27 06:28 PM

I love this poem. It made me think about how things are viewed.

Great Write

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

6 posted 2006-02-28 05:18 AM

Thank you, everyone, for your compliments. I appreciate all the praise.

Does anyone have any suggestions for improvement?

~Daniel?Titus

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

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