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Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

0 posted 2006-02-24 12:19 PM

Sitting out my window watching the birds fly by
wondering how it would feel to sore in that big blue sky
I'd be free, free for the first time in my life
free to wonder why I lived this dream to fly so high

for no one to say goodbye
no one I'd be able to see die
I'd be gone from this life
no fear to go through the next night
no fright when I wake up and see that everything went alright

oh I'd be in that wonderful sky
flying so high
and when the time felt right I'd stop and think of what I could of done to make things feel right
I'll go now and hopefully dream of it again tonight!!!

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

1 posted 2006-02-24 02:35 PM

Very nice! Whimsical yet serious, catchy yet emotional.

I like how you kept the overall feel of the poem on the lighter side by keeping the rhyme similar to, like, say a children's song. Very simplistic, yet the perfect touch overall for this piece.

Cool.

~Daniel?Titus

Fighting the good fight, deployed to Iraq.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

2 posted 2006-02-25 01:03 AM

Thanks, any more comments?

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-02-25 11:55 AM

i can easily hear the beat in that

it is a very nice write

            Jessica
              :)

       Where your heart lays
        is where you belong.

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

4 posted 2006-02-25 03:41 PM

A very "cool" type of poem. Easy on the mind.

I speak insanity. I write fantasy. I sleep reality.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

5 posted 2006-03-01 05:34 PM

I liked this. I agree with Daniel, It had the overall image as if it were a Children's song. I loved the whole idea in this poem..

Great write..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

6 posted 2006-03-01 09:42 PM

Thanks everyone

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

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