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Teen Poetry #7

Can you see the light?

byski
Member

since 2006-01-26

Posts 235
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2006-02-20 08:32 PM

With one eye you look into mine
With the other you gaze with fear
Always moving
Forever blinded
Uncertain as to when you should peer

For the vision that is unfolding
Is not one that you hold dear
The truth does fade
As you keep faith
That everything will soon become clear

But you slowly lose your focus
As your strength soon becomes weak
I hold the flame
I feel the pain
As you spirit diminishes before me

Now which one of us is responsible
Who is the one to blame
When you are blind
And I can’t find
A reason as to why you are lame

You were looking into the light
That I directed you to
The fault is mine
A waste of time
I am the ultimate fool

Unorthodox mabey, but I grow on you.

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

1 posted 2006-02-20 09:21 PM

You were looking into the light
That I directed you to
The fault is mine
A waste of time
I am the ultimate fool

that ending is so nice- this poem is AMAZING-great job

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

2 posted 2006-02-22 06:33 PM

I love it. flows very well I love all of the staza's, but the last one concludes it very well. nice write.

            Jessica
              :)

       Where your heart lays
        is where you belong.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

3 posted 2006-02-22 11:55 PM

I very much agree....NICE WRITE

keep em coming!

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

kissa~rachelle
Senior Member

since 2003-11-27

Posts 988
nowhere special

4 posted 2006-02-23 05:22 PM

very nice. the last stanza took my breath away. i bet this is one that you read over and over and never get sick of.

I ask why, but in my mind,
I find i cant really rely on myself.
~~~Linkin Park~~~

ShelbyLynn13
Member

since 2006-02-15

Posts 73
US, Colorodo

5 posted 2006-02-23 08:56 PM

i love it it flows so well!

every one is special in their own way!!!

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