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Teen Poetry #7

Side Step

ShelbyLynn13
Member

since 2006-02-15

Posts 73
US, Colorodo

0 posted 2006-02-19 07:14 PM

Why do you drink?
haven't you ever noticed you stink.
youv'e always made us sad.
don't you know drinking is bad?

When you get drunk you
yell and scream at us.
two minutes later you
forget.
you say no?
do you wanna bet?

Just remember the day
we leave will be the
last string to break on
our emotions.

so don't say:
"please don't leave"
that day i will
wish to say:

"get back, we are
finally free from your
horror spree. oh please
your nothing but an alcoholic.

im not sorry
for what i said or
say. so put down
the bottle for once
at last!!!!!!!

every one is special in their own way!!!

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

1 posted 2006-02-19 07:16 PM

thats good you should be strong when things put you down and never let your Aunt see a frown

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

2 posted 2006-02-19 07:24 PM

great job- i rly liked this-real deep
stay strong-

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

3 posted 2006-02-20 06:56 AM

There is a lot of emotion behind this, there really is. You can feel to frustration boiling over in you. I hope one day you are free.

I would just recommend making each stanza equal, four lines appiece. I think that would make the piece that much more powerful.

~Daniel/Titus

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