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Teen Poetry #7
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XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

0 posted 2006-02-18 01:01 PM




Tell me how I'm feeling
Tell me what I dream
Tell me I'm just acting
Tell me how I seem
Tell me who I hate
Tell me who I like
Tell me how I rate
Tell me you are right
Tell me how I look
Read me like a book
Then I'll tell you something
Although I know you won't agree
Only I know what I'm thinking
Because only I am me.


Hope you liked it

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

© Copyright 2006 Nora A. - All Rights Reserved
byski
Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235
Alberta, Canada
1 posted 2006-02-18 01:02 PM


Very good job! I love this one Nora.
XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
2 posted 2006-02-18 01:04 PM


Thanks you for replying-glad u liked it

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213
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Senior Member
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523
Colorado
3 posted 2006-02-18 01:28 PM


I really like your work. especially this one its very meaningful. its saying you are who you are inside and no one knows you like yourself. I like it.

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

Free_Spirit07
Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222
The middle of my mind!
4 posted 2006-02-18 03:04 PM


I like it too, keep em coming i LOVE reading your poems

x0x0
Free_Spirit07    
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
5 posted 2006-02-18 09:39 PM


Thanks for replying guys- I loved hearing from both of you

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

PoetryIsLife
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Senior Member
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763
...in my boxers...
6 posted 2006-02-19 10:34 AM


I like this piece. It's an interesting form. Very "BAM! BAM! BAM!"

The ending, though, I might adjust a bit.
"Tell me how I'm feeling
Tell me what I dream
Tell me I'm just acting
Tell me how I seem
Tell me who I hate
Tell me who I like
Tell me how I rate
Tell me you are right"

I love these lines.

But... I might add a space there, and then...

"Tell me how I look
and Read me like a book."

Another space, and then...

"I'll tell you something,
Although I know you won't agree.
Only I know what I'm thinking
Because only I am me."

Minor changes, to add power. Tell me what you think.



~Daniel/Titus

XxnoraxX
Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3
7 posted 2006-02-19 11:57 AM


Actually, thats a good idea then putting everthing together.  Thanks for the reply and advice.

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591
USA
8 posted 2006-03-01 06:07 PM


I loved this. I agree I think it would have so much more added to it if it had a few line breaks (the ones that Daniel was talking about)
I loved the concept of this poem. The point of view.
The ending was awesome. great job

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

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