Teen Poetry #7 |
Tell Me |
XxnoraxX Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122<3 MA,,,USA <3 |
Tell me how I'm feeling Tell me what I dream Tell me I'm just acting Tell me how I seem Tell me who I hate Tell me who I like Tell me how I rate Tell me you are right Tell me how I look Read me like a book Then I'll tell you something Although I know you won't agree Only I know what I'm thinking Because only I am me. Hope you liked it XoXo, |
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© Copyright 2006 Nora A. - All Rights Reserved | |||
byski Member
since 2006-01-26
Posts 235Alberta, Canada |
Very good job! I love this one Nora. |
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XxnoraxX Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122<3 MA,,,USA <3 |
Thanks you for replying-glad u liked it XoXo, |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
I really like your work. especially this one its very meaningful. its saying you are who you are inside and no one knows you like yourself. I like it. Where your heart lays is where you belong. |
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Free_Spirit07 Member
since 2006-01-29
Posts 222The middle of my mind! |
I like it too, keep em coming i LOVE reading your poems x0x0 |
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XxnoraxX Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122<3 MA,,,USA <3 |
Thanks for replying guys- I loved hearing from both of you XoXo, |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
I like this piece. It's an interesting form. Very "BAM! BAM! BAM!" The ending, though, I might adjust a bit. "Tell me how I'm feeling Tell me what I dream Tell me I'm just acting Tell me how I seem Tell me who I hate Tell me who I like Tell me how I rate Tell me you are right" I love these lines. But... I might add a space there, and then... "Tell me how I look and Read me like a book." Another space, and then... "I'll tell you something, Although I know you won't agree. Only I know what I'm thinking Because only I am me." Minor changes, to add power. Tell me what you think. ~Daniel/Titus |
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XxnoraxX Member
since 2006-01-24
Posts 122<3 MA,,,USA <3 |
Actually, thats a good idea then putting everthing together. Thanks for the reply and advice. XoXo, |
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the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
I loved this. I agree I think it would have so much more added to it if it had a few line breaks (the ones that Daniel was talking about) I loved the concept of this poem. The point of view. The ending was awesome. great job ~Heather Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
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