Slain - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Faint of Heart
New Member

since 2006-07-07

Posts 6
CA, USA

0 posted 2006-07-07 06:37 PM

Do not let me fall
Do not make me crawl.

It hurts more than you know
And the worst part's letting go.

My mind says stay
My heart says go away.

My love for you is great
But I still can hate.
-
The worst thing I have done
Will hurt the Son.

I am sorry to say
That my heart will stay.

In a world full of fray.
-
In the land of lamb
We stand here today.
Holding on to the things
That we have became.

It hurts me to say
That we will all fall away.

In a world full of fray.
-
Saved by the slain
The one who was maimed.

In the end there's no gain.

Only the pain
That we have fought to save.
The sin in our mane
That will never be slain.

In life and in death we will all be the same.
At the end of the day, we will all be the same.

Sane and insane.

Gained and in pain.

Maimed and been slain.

In the end, we will all be the same.
In the end, we will be saved by the slain.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-07-08 11:14 PM

i liked

"It hurts more than you know
And the worst part's letting go.
"

that part was really good,. some of the rymes, werent all that great. the poem was kinda confusing, couldnt understand all of it. it had a couple of good unique parts though.

nice job, though i think it mite need some work maybe.

hope im not to critical, if i am sorry .

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

2 posted 2006-07-08 11:47 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please check your e-mail for a special surprise.

"... the rest is silence"
from the song The Flesh Failures
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

3 posted 2006-07-08 11:54 PM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

I like your poem.. certain parts stuck out to me that I really liked and then there were parts that seemed to be out of place..

but very good, challenging, first post..

can't wait to read more..

~Heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

4 posted 2006-07-09 07:17 PM

"In the land of lamb
We stand here today.
Holding on to the things
That we have became.

It hurts me to say
That we will all fall away.

In a world full of fray."

Loved this part, it was amazingly well written... Thanks for the subject too, it's nice to see something like this posted.

Also, I know that I'm a little late but welcome to pip! I hope you enjoy the site as much as I know I have...

Thanks for sharing this poem, I can't wait to see more from you

@-->---

Faint of Heart
New Member

since 2006-07-07

Posts 6
CA, USA

5 posted 2006-07-09 08:32 PM

thank you all for replying to this thread.. sorry it doesnt make sense to some.. =/

thanks for the great welcome and i will enjoy my time at this forum.

you all seem really great and a lot of you seem strong in faith. i hope i have a good time here reading all your poems and being critiqued.

thanks again

~ts

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

6 posted 2006-07-21 11:24 AM

welcome to passions i dunno if i really understood this oe but it flowed nicely. hope to see more from you.

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
"and we'll all float on ok....." - modest mouse
aim - reklesabandnrckr
groove on sista!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.