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Teen Poetry #7
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Afraid
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Afraid |
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broken_smile1469 Member
since 2006-07-02
Posts 104
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this is my first poem, so i know its not that great but i hope ya'll like it this inexplicable feeling that will not go away fills my head with sorrow each and every day saying i hate you is easy admiting i'll always love you is hard what should i do? i lie in the grass and stare at the stars thinking to myself why do i feel this way i know the real reason its because i am afraid i'm afraid of what you'll do afraid you won't care afraid you'll leave me alone afraid you won't be there everytime you talk to me i try to find something wrong to make me love you less but yet my love gets strong. i used to think your perfect but that is just not true its the little imperfetions that make me love you as i do. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Miranda Nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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spaz02 Member
since 2005-06-28
Posts 74USA |
ohh wow..this can hit a home run for me..i feel this way about so much..and with so many people..this is a good write i am def. going to b looking for more of ur work! ~Amber~ For every drop of my blood that falls |
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The Shadow in Blue Member
since 2006-05-18
Posts 493EL, Michigan |
Welcome to P.I.P.! This is a pretty good first poem. I liked the theme you wrote about-It reminds me of "Hate Me" by Blue October to some extent. Overall I thought it was pretty decent albeit some conventions and little problems in the flow in the first stanzas. But hey that just one person's opinion. Hope to read more from you. ^_^ Jill /\/The Editing Queen\/\ A good writer possesses not only his own spirit but also the spirit of his friends. |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i acually really thought this was awesome for a first poem i liked the flow and i can relate to it too......hope to read more from you in the near future too... good job!!! *hunnie* A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your |
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Fuschia Junior Member
since 2006-06-19
Posts 35England |
WELCOME broken_smile1469 I love this poem and i can really relate to it. It flows beautifully. Great write. I can't wait to read more of your poetry.  xxFushiaxx |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
Welcome! This was a really good first poem! I'm impressed. Hope to see more from you! AIM-blueyed angel940 |
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latteaddict213
since 2006-02-17
Posts 523Colorado |
Welcome to piptalk. Really good first post. Like the erson above me, I'm impressed. I liked it alot. I can kinda relate ot it, but I don't think I've ever been in really "true love". When you talked about thelittle imperfections that totslly hit the spot. That was my favorite stanza. Great work. I'm puting you and your post in my library. I'll look for more done by you. Jessica |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hey broken_smile1469, Sorry I'm so late in welcoming you to piptalk but... WELCOME TO PIP!! Like everyone else said awesome first post, I loved this poem. I can't believe that it's your first attempt it's so amazing, way better than anything I first wrote! I really loved this part though, "this inexplicable feeling that will not go away fills my head with sorrow each and every day" I liked the flow, the wording, and the way you broke it down into stanzas. It was a very good job by you and I can't wait to see more  @-->--- |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
never say your poems aren't great. if you write them then they are great cus they are your own works. i relly loved this one great emmotion in it. hope to see more from you and welcome to pip! hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men! |
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