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byski
Member

since 2006-01-26

Posts 235
Alberta, Canada

0 posted 2006-02-03 01:58 AM

I miss being in what we know as love.
That feeling that warms your entire being
and makes your laugh tingle with sensation.

That unmistakable rush that can make men do silly things.

I can still remember though, like it was yesterday.
The pain free happiness of euphoric expression, knowing that what you said MENT something to someone else.

Yet now it is a faint reminder
of what once was
and will never be.
This is not better to have loved and to have lost as it serves more to handicap me.

Now that I have loved and lost how am I to move on? How now am to work though it when all I know is wrong?

My life is a tradgedy with a certian end in sight
Being alone ain't so bad is the depression I've got to fight.

But how did it happen, what could I have done?
Why were my dreams annihilated, why was my love not won?

I thought I had it in me to be a rightous man,
I thought I could have been there for her when the shit hit the fan.

But all my past experiance set me up for the fall
I didn't see it coming when my best friend took it all.

I walked blindly to my doom like walking in a trap
And when it came, my rage did it reign and I fell victum to attack.

So now my heart is empty with nothing left to mend
My how peaceful it can be when you finally reach your end.

Unorthodox mabey, but I grow on you.

byski
Member

since 2006-01-26

Posts 235
Alberta, Canada

1 posted 2006-02-04 12:09 PM

any input on this one? Mabey I'll get more of a responce if I avoid using free verse.

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

2 posted 2006-02-04 11:06 PM

This is great! Real nice poem and a bet all men feel like that after they'v just been dumped. Great write.

XxnoraxX

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-02-18 02:10 PM

this is wonderful.

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

Free_Spirit07
Member

since 2006-01-29

Posts 222
The middle of my mind!

4 posted 2006-02-18 03:10 PM

Yipz i agree! This is AWESOME

x0x0
Free_Spirit07
fear and tears....STOP rounda bout here!

ShelbyLynn13
Member

since 2006-02-15

Posts 73
US, Colorodo

5 posted 2006-02-19 07:05 PM

That poem was okay. it could use a little work around the edges. the poem didn't flow well. but hey thats just MY creative CRITISISM.

every one is special in their own way!!!

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

6 posted 2006-02-20 12:24 PM

hey byski shelby is mad at you if you cant tell

Where your heart lays is where you belong.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

7 posted 2006-03-01 05:56 PM

I know you say you do this for fun.. but this is a great poem. I think it could use a little work but other than that I loved the way you chose to write this. YOu used a simple form to write but it is more difficult to control when writing two lines (that is if your thought is longer than the line lol) but this was a really good poem.

Thanks for posting it. I enjoyed it very much.
hope to hear more

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

8 posted 2006-03-01 06:57 PM

i liked this a lot! very heartful,
loved it.

-kelly

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