High Horse (Promise) - pipTalk Forums

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synthetic
Member

since 2006-06-10

Posts 70
ontario, canada

0 posted 2006-07-04 03:51 PM

I wish you were afraid of heights
so you'd come off that high horse of yours.
Walk along side a normal man
that can only offer you himself;
his joy, his sadness, his pain, his hopes.

Come off that high horse
so my words can lift you to a better place
where you can know that you're my star,
with air beneath your feet and above your head.
That air's actually my breath.
You never leave my lips,
you never leave my soul.
I'll praise you forever and ever babe.

I write for you because I have no choice.
My words are meant for you alone,
I'm moved by you alone.
That's why I want every moment with you to stand still.
Stand still because there's no need to stand the test of time,
stand still because everything I need is with you.

I've got a high horse
I'll ride it to see you.
I promise to save you.
I'll save you with promises,
ones I'll never break.
On my high horse I'll reach you,
bring you down from your tower.
The one they built around you,
that stands back against the sun.

I've got a fairytale constructed around you
and babe I feel it's coming true.
God gave me life
and I believe it was so I'd meet you.
So I'd know miracles are real,
so I'd know we all get our moment to shine.
An imperfect man who got the chance to say perfection is mine.

How about I pick you up on my high horse,
you can get rid of yours.
We'll tie our loose ends together,
watch our dead ends become a full circle.
Where you completed me and I felt blessed.
Where I completed you and I felt blessed.

You love to the utmost.
There's no turning back.
No keeping score.
No adding up tabs.

I can feel that way about you
because you bring the best in me out.
Because you bring the best in me out
it couldn't be any other way.
Hold onto me tight and feel free to close your eyes.
Knowing that you won't miss a thing
because I'll live my life for you.

So on our high horse
we'll be higher than before.
Boosted up by unbreakable promises,
love that won't fade, miracles, a fairytale
and the knowledge it couldn't be any other way.

Could you possibly give me a chance,
to make this my reality,
to make you my life.
I promise I won't let you down.
And so it begins with a promise,
so secure the word itself is shielded,
so secure it won't ever fall,
I promise I will stand up for you.
God gave me life and I'll give it all to you.

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

1 posted 2006-07-05 11:15 PM

"An imperfect man who got the chance to say perfection is mine."

"God gave me life and I'll give it all to you"

These two lines are my favorite out of the whole poem.. I've seen this poem before I think you posted it in Critical Analysis or Dark Passions or something (one of the other forums he he)

I really like this. I like how you have the structure set up.. it's like you're just talking to the person and not really writing poetry. The poem, like I said I like, the words, I like... but I don't like promises..

don't get me wrong this is a wonderful piece.. but you said so much about promises that it's kind of naive... it's like one of those country songs that a guy sings to you and then the next thing you know he's singing you the breaking up song lol.. Just picking.. your poem was wonderful.. it showed emotion and creativity.. I love the High Horse part although it was kind of repetitive.. anyways..

This was great.. i hope to read more from you..
Lot of work put into this it seemed.

GREAT JOB!!

~heather~

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

2 posted 2006-07-06 02:09 PM

Come off that high horse
so my words can lift you to a better place
where you can know that you're my star

these were my favorite lines. I loved(like the person above me) the words you used. I did find the high horse a little repetitive, and in some parts that's not the best but overall it did get your point across.

I loved this piece though. Very unique! Keep it up!

<3Erin

myspace username-beautiful_tragidy
I just want to find my way back to you...where love is strong and feels brand new.

gostwriter
New Member

since 2006-06-27

Posts 4

3 posted 2006-07-07 09:31 PM

ok so i'm like in love with this poem, or at least I feel like i'm in love with the person writing it..or reciting it..whatever. I just wanted to day this is proabably my most favourite work of art of yours yet. It captures that romantic..poetic i love you so much and i will give you all my love for the rest of my life..i want to marry you type thing. If I had to pick a favourite part it would have to be this..although it was very hard to pick because i love it in general but this is the part:

Come off that high horse
so my words can lift you to a better place
where you can know that you're my star,
with air beneath your feet and above your head.
That air's actually my breath.
You never leave my lips,
you never leave my soul.
I'll praise you forever and ever babe.

hits close to home. Good job, great piece..keep it up

electricxheart
Member

since 2004-09-05

Posts 184
far away from home.

4 posted 2006-07-08 08:26 PM

this is so sweet and beautiful.
wonderful job.
--kelly

gostwriter
New Member

since 2006-06-27

Posts 4

5 posted 2006-07-16 12:11 PM

i think i'm in love with you

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