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secreteyes
Junior Member

since 2005-12-20

Posts 13
Wisconsin, United States

0 posted 2005-12-29 09:15 PM

I look in the mirror and cry
I look in the mirror and can only ask why
My life seems to have gone down the drain
I can’t do anything to stop this pain
How truly can this be me
This hideous person that I see
I long for someone just to care
And long for a pain I can one day bare
but You all look and judge me
then laugh were I can’t see
Well news flash I hear it all
Each word making me fall
Do you all hate me that much
To ugly for you to touch
Well I hope you are glad
You’ve made me more then just mad
You’ve hurt me to my soul
Your words are taking it’s toll
You were supposed to be my friend
My friend untill the very end
How could you be so cruel
You made me feel like such a fool
All I wanted was to feel excepted
And all you did was make me rejected

Kaos
Member

since 2001-08-02

Posts 317
between space and time

1 posted 2006-01-06 01:04 PM

A very emotional write, good at that. I'd check your meter though i believe there was a line or two that kind of read off rhythm to me... excellent write again

Peace

Life is a torment and torment an enigma. So burn the shackles of slavery and let love run free
-i wrote it somewhere in time

XxnoraxX
Member

since 2006-01-24

Posts 122
<3 MA,,,USA <3

2 posted 2006-02-11 11:37 AM

this was rly good- great job

XoXo,
XxnoraxX

No ones perfect;just perfect for each other-<3

latteaddict213

Senior Member

since 2006-02-17

Posts 523
Colorado

3 posted 2006-03-09 02:40 PM

really nice work

           Jessica

    Character is what you
      do when you think that
         no one is loking--??

the_girl_next_door
Senior Member

since 2006-02-26

Posts 591
USA

4 posted 2006-03-09 07:36 PM

This was really good.. I also noticed that a couple of lines were a little off rhythm.. but other than that.. i loved your writing..

~Heather

Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes.
Want nothing & you will have everything.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

5 posted 2006-03-10 12:53 PM

This is a really good poem!
I like it because I can relate to it in many ways... 0ne of my favorite lines would be the ending though, "All I wanted was to feel excepted
And all you did was make me rejected", i just love that part, it really stands out to me.

Yes, a few lines are off rythm but whocares! well, i do most of the time... this one is going in my library though

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