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Teen Poetry #7
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Fly
| Teen Poetry #7 |
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Fly |
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AtLsHawTy17 Member
since 2004-09-07
Posts 60IL, |
It takes away the smiles The breath of life seems to fade away Hopeless feelings and a tired heart Is all that’s left at the end of the day The misery of losing love Cannot be taken back Deal with the pain they say Deal with the memories of when life didn’t lack Forever in our minds doesn’t exist But I wanted it too with you I wanted to hold you for the rest of my years I just wanted to belong to you I cant seem to grasp your absence I just can’t seem to understand Because you are to much a part of me For me to let go of your hand As you let your hand slip out of mine The tears easily fell from my eyes Its to hard to stop them from their fall And now every star is gone from my skies It takes away the smiles The day your love says goodbye The hopeless feeling wont go away Until you learn you have wings that can fly Too late to cry, you're gone... why should I cry, you can't wipe the tears dry, so what am I to do? I need to be with you....-Me |
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| © Copyright 2005 JaMiE - All Rights Reserved | |||
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
sorry, but i didn't even make it past the second stanza. while you made an effort to rhyme, your flow was all off and it made it jerky and hard to read. if you struggle with getting flow right with rhyming, forget rhyming and switch to being abstract or use imagery. |
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